Dear Steve,
Coming from one who feels no constriction from the Lord other than to meet with followers of Jesus who don't teach heresey, I can't help but be perplexed as to why don't you join ANY of the other of 1000's of Christians who must be meeting in the Bellevue area the same time as the church in Bellevue? Is it "the name"? If so, surely the Bellevue Church of Christ, or Bellevue Community Church, or Bellevue Christian Church, Bellevue Assembly, Bellevue City Church (if there is such a thing) can't be offensive? My guess is that there are others who would welcome you in, minister to your hurts, worship with you, and be genuinely glad that you have joined them. Why continue to punish yourself with repeated rejections? If you believe as LSM recently emphasised in the HH broadcast: We are not the only church, just part of the church...and, we're not the perfect church, but just striving to be, you'll find MANY, MANY other Christians in your area who feel exactly the same way! I think Kisstheson's words from another thread could be encouragement to you...
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I have not been away from the LC nearly as long as you have, but like you I have received much mercy from the Lord and He has granted me a seeking heart. (How I need to fall on my face before Him and thank and praise Him!) Since leaving the LC, I have fellowshipped with a good number of Christians from several home churches, community churches, and free groups. I also still occassionally get together with a few brothers from the LC. Besides all this fellowship from many sources, our dear Lord has greatly blessed me by opening my eyes to the riches which can be found in the writings and speakings of many dear ministers of Christ besides Nee and Lee.
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It saddens my heart to see you longing for fellowship when it is RIGHT THERE in BELLEVUE waiting for you! Turn to the right, turn to the left...there are loving Christians everywhere!