Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedOfHelp
InChristAlone,
If you find any success, please share which method worked out the best. I've still lost my friend to this madness.
What's worse is that she's just turned into this heartless, rude, mean person to me. I hate it for her, because we are about to embark on the time of our lives - the part that we're supposed to have fun and enjoy. And I just feel like she's thrown it all away and is feeling like that's the only answer.
Let me know, and I hope the best for you.
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NeedOfHelp, that's sad to hear. Wish I could help you, but you see, I can't even help my wife. Anyway, if I have any positive results, I will let you know.
My experience helped me to realize one thing: if I want to change my wife, I have to change myself first. I.e. if I want my wife to stop living a Lee-centered life and start living a Christ-centered life, in other words, to come from Lee to Christ, then I have to come to Christ first. It means I have to love God and my neighbor, keep the commandments, and fight my passions, developing Christian virtues: faith, hope, knowledge, wisdom, honesty, humility (meekness, humbleness), love, gratitude (contentment), generosity (kindness), temperance (self-control, chastity), faithfulness, courage, patience (diligence), and obedience.
Right now my wife sees Christ in her church brothers and sisters more than she sees Him in me. So my task is not to stay a nominal Christian as I am now but develop Christian virtues and live a Chirst-centered life. I know I am weak and sinful but the Lord is strong and merciful. I hope one day Christ will join my wife and me together through Him so that we become not only one in flesh but also one in spirit.
Again - ask the Lord for help, guidance, and blessings, fight your passions, live a simple and pure life, do good, righteous things, don't judge people, pray more, read the Gospels and the Book of Psalms every day. Breathe the word of God in and out. Share it with others. Let the word of God become a part of your nature so that you know what to say about Christ and His message to your friend. Be humble. They say humility is the mother and the source of the virtues.
Acquire peace and love in your heart and always trust the Lord. God knows what is best for us His children. Trust His plan for you and your friend. Everything is for the best. If my wife were not a member of the LC and didn't live a Lee-centered life, I would not care much about God. So, no matter what happens, remember it's the best situation for you and your friend -- not to get rusty but to grow in spirit, following God's plan which is the best thing for your growth in Christ. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
May the Lord bless and help you.
PS About prayer and virtues:
"As it is impossible for a man without legs to walk, even if the rest of his body is healthy, so it is impossible to approach God, or reach God in prayer, without active virtue. Look in the apostolic teachings, and you will see that in them prayer does not stand alone, but together with a whole host of virtues." St. Theophan the Recluse.
http://www.orthodoxprayer.org/Theophan-Homily4.html