[Thankful Jane]

Originally Posted by Ohio

Hope, thanks much for introducing the complementary matter of mercy in Rom 12.8. This is a very helpful explanation for me and many others, I believe. As I read your description of BP in Texas, I could easily substitute the GLA region under TC, or Anaheim under WL. Diligent leadership must be balanced by gifts of mercy. The Apostle Paul was one such pattern to us all. He was "diligent" like a father, but "merciful" like a mother.

It is clear to me from looking into the Bible about mercy, that it does not mean something akin to turning a blind eye. In the Bible, mercy is given to those that love Him, fear Him, hope in Him, return to Him, are His servants, confess and forsake sins, and similar language. Mercy frees us from paying our debt, but it doesn’t appear to be given without our acknowledgment of need for it (by confessing, admitting). (Matt. 18:23-27, Prov. 28:13)

I don’t think that being silent when we see our brother sin is to be merciful (not that I think anyone is saying that, but that is a conclusion that could be drawn from what has been said). If we don’t tell him his sin, that is not mercy, that is failure to love (Lev. 19:17). If we love our brother we will tell him his sin. Then we are in a position to show him mercy.

The brothers who allowed Benson to take action based on false assumptions and false information and who did not tell him the truth, were not showing him mercy. Neither were they loving him. Their silence hurt him.

I was guilty of the same when Benson came down on me. If I had truly cared about him, I would have attempted to tell him the truth and show him his false assumptions concerning the action he took against me. My submission to his treatment was actually a self protective hiding place. Instead of loving him, I was loving myself. Of course, I didn’t understand this at the time, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

I was primarily struggling to survive mentally. Somewhere under all of that was also my fear of losing my church family. I can find a number of believable excuses for my silence if I wanted to, but there is no point to do so. It took the Lord a long time (after we were out!) and some difficult circumstances to get me to a place of obedience to his word concerning addressing offenses. I finally spoke the truth in love to Benson in a long letter in the early 90s.

The fact that my obedience had no apparent effect at that time is not important. I needed to be obedient to God. The requirement to obey wasn’t nullified by the passage of time. God required my obedience for Benson’s sake as well as my own.

Where might Benson be today if the majority of those of us who were around him had been faithful, as each offense happened, to risk ourselves and to tell him the truth in love.

Sooner or later we will all be obedient. Offenses don't just evaporate and neither do their longterm effects. There is no statute of limitations on our need as God's children to properly address offenses against each other. According to the Bible, all whom Benson has directly hurt or offended are obligated to communicate with him about the specifics privately, with a few other witnesses, and then publicly. (This is true with anyone for that matter!)

Actually, now that I think about it, according to the Bible we are clearly taught to do this before we speak publicly about the offenses of others.

Yes, here again are those good 'ole Matt. 18:15-17 commands of Jesus.

Thankful Jane