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NeitherFirstnorLast · 01-04-2014, 03:28 PM

I posted this morning (on the "Praising Him in Song") thread, that this "was a week where God made His Word real to me in a way it hadn't been before." I told you part of that story, on that thread, related to the song the Lord brought back to my mind. That was only part of the story, but not the deeply personal part. Not the part I was hesitant to share. Not the part about where God answered my prayer that He humble me. That He humiliate me. This is that part, and I'm sharing it because I want you all to know the depths of His perfect Love, which casts out all fear. Lord, give me the courage to share, if this is Your will.

This week my wife and kids are gone visiting family. I am alone in the house, and while I've had a few days off from work, the "holiday season" just past, I've mostly been working.

My plan had been, while my wife and kids were gone, to spend the time off I had with the Lord... but I haven't done that. I've come home tired and miserable, and I've felt sorry for myself, all alone here. When I am alone, I sometimes have real demons to battle.

Netflix hasn't been working on TV lately, and the movies we have are ones I've seen - I don't need to see them again. I look for things to watch online, and that's when the sins of my past come back to haunt me. Sins I thought I had put behind me. Sins I thought I had conquered... but lonely and miserable, I am easy prey. I step away from the computer. I leave the room. I find work to do. I pray. I go to look for sermons. I take a shower. I pray more. Still I find thoughts and images in my head I can't shake. Still I find fleshly desires that I thought were no longer a part of me rising up and arguing with me. Making their case. Demanding. I pray MORE. I ask God to forgive me. I ask God to take them from me. The demands waiver, but they do not go away... and I fall.

Disgusted with myself, I determine that I have failed God again. I am not worthy of anything, even His love and forgiveness. Images of Divine Justice dance in my head, and I fear for what I might bring down on myself. I turn to prayer, I beg for wisdom. I plead for strength. Why Lord, I asked You to do it. I didn't try to do it in my own strength, did I not trust You enough? Is my faith too weak? That's when He answered me. He said, "My Grace is sufficient for you."

You know that quote, don't you? I did too. It's 2nd Corinthians 12:19.

The context of that verse is that Paul is talking about visions he's been given - which he feels he ought to share but he is loathe to claim credit for them. He doesn't want to claim credit, because he doesn't want to appear to be boasting. Paul has a weakness for spiritual pride; it's an old sin for Paul, a failing he had as a Pharisee. In fact, Paul confesses, in order to ensure that Paul cannot be a prideful man and boast, God has sent him a messenger of Satan. A thorn in the flesh. Paul prays three times that God remove it; whatever it is. God won't. God says "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness".

I have heard it said by some that Grace is something that God gives you in order for you to live out the righteous requirements of the Law through His strength rather than your own... but I read this passage again. That's not what this passage teaches at all. Paul doesn't say that the Grace of God gave him the ability to tear out the thorn from his flesh and to carry on as a god-man. Paul says he pleaded with God to remove it (whatever it was), and God wouldn't.

Some have speculated that the "thorn in the flesh" is physical. Maybe Paul was talking about failing eye sight, or maybe about arthritis, or maybe a disfiguring disease. But what do any of those things have to do with God's Grace?

Of himself, Paul tells us that he does things he hates - things he doesn't want to do but can't seem to help. His hating of those things, which are evidentially against the Law (and therefore sin) proves that the Law is real. His doing them despite his own desire to NOT do them, proves that the real culprit isn't Paul's willing spirit, but his weak flesh. Paul is confessing here that despite being mightily used by God and being Saved and being a far more mature believer than I might even hope to be, that he is still a sinner. (see Romans 7:15-20)

Paul isn't talking about a physical ailment in 2nd Corinthians. I believe he's talking about sins of the flesh. Can this be?

I had originally learned that Grace is the "unmerited favor of God", that it can be contrasted with Mercy - as Mercy is "NOT giving the sinner what he deserves", and Grace is "Giving the sinner what he doesn't deserve." That definition seems to fit...

...I look up the word for "Grace" at www.blueletterbible.org I look at the original Greek for that word, what it is and what it means. The word is χάρις (charis). It appears 159 times in the New Testament. I start to go through the verses, and I try substituting the word "Grace" for the words "the ability to fulfill the righteous requirements of the Law through God's strength". I know, it's a wordy substitution - but you understand the principle. That definition doesn't fit. I look back at "Charis", and I look at how it is translated in the verses. It's translated not only as "Grace", but also as "favor", "credit", "thank(s)", and "pleasure". I look up the root word for Charis, and it's χαίρω (chairo). It appears 74 times in the New Testament, and it means "to rejoice", "to rejoice exceedingly", "to be exceedingly glad", it's both a greeting and a farewell... it's nothing at all to do with God's strength.

"Lord", I say "what do You mean "Your Grace is sufficient"? I don't understand. You wouldn't allow me to sin? You hate sin."

He does hate sin, friends. My sin is spiritual pride. Pride proceeds the fall. Pride is the greatest stink of all to Him. My sin boils down to wanting the glory, God's glory, for myself. My sin is thinking that I can perfect in the flesh what He began in the spirit. God didn't do something new here. He did something He's done before. He didn't remove the thorn. He proved to me that I can do nothing (apart from Christ, who strengthens me). He proved to me what Grace really means. Unmerited Undeserved Credit. But Lord, I cannot go on sinning. I know it is an abomination in Your sight. What am I to do, if You won't remove this thorn, and I can't do it alone?

"Where sin abounds, Grace abounds much more." Romans 5:20

I don't have a license to sin. No one does. But this week God showed me what Grace means in a real way. He showed me I have a debt I can't repay. He showed me He gets the glory by showing us Grace:

"...the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 4:15b

*******************
Amen Lord, Yours is the Glory. Thank You Lord!

01-04-2014, 03:28 PM	#66
NeitherFirstnorLast Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 348	Re: My Journey to the Local Church, and beyond... I posted this morning (on the "Praising Him in Song") thread, that this "was a week where God made His Word real to me in a way it hadn't been before." I told you part of that story, on that thread, related to the song the Lord brought back to my mind. That was only part of the story, but not the deeply personal part. Not the part I was hesitant to share. Not the part about where God answered my prayer that He humble me. That He humiliate me. This is that part, and I'm sharing it because I want you all to know the depths of His perfect Love, which casts out all fear. Lord, give me the courage to share, if this is Your will. This week my wife and kids are gone visiting family. I am alone in the house, and while I've had a few days off from work, the "holiday season" just past, I've mostly been working. My plan had been, while my wife and kids were gone, to spend the time off I had with the Lord... but I haven't done that. I've come home tired and miserable, and I've felt sorry for myself, all alone here. When I am alone, I sometimes have real demons to battle. Netflix hasn't been working on TV lately, and the movies we have are ones I've seen - I don't need to see them again. I look for things to watch online, and that's when the sins of my past come back to haunt me. Sins I thought I had put behind me. Sins I thought I had conquered... but lonely and miserable, I am easy prey. I step away from the computer. I leave the room. I find work to do. I pray. I go to look for sermons. I take a shower. I pray more. Still I find thoughts and images in my head I can't shake. Still I find fleshly desires that I thought were no longer a part of me rising up and arguing with me. Making their case. Demanding. I pray MORE. I ask God to forgive me. I ask God to take them from me. The demands waiver, but they do not go away... and I fall. Disgusted with myself, I determine that I have failed God again. I am not worthy of anything, even His love and forgiveness. Images of Divine Justice dance in my head, and I fear for what I might bring down on myself. I turn to prayer, I beg for wisdom. I plead for strength. Why Lord, I asked You to do it. I didn't try to do it in my own strength, did I not trust You enough? Is my faith too weak? That's when He answered me. He said, "My Grace is sufficient for you." You know that quote, don't you? I did too. It's 2nd Corinthians 12:19. The context of that verse is that Paul is talking about visions he's been given - which he feels he ought to share but he is loathe to claim credit for them. He doesn't want to claim credit, because he doesn't want to appear to be boasting. Paul has a weakness for spiritual pride; it's an old sin for Paul, a failing he had as a Pharisee. In fact, Paul confesses, in order to ensure that Paul cannot be a prideful man and boast, God has sent him a messenger of Satan. A thorn in the flesh. Paul prays three times that God remove it; whatever it is. God won't. God says "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness". I have heard it said by some that Grace is something that God gives you in order for you to live out the righteous requirements of the Law through His strength rather than your own... but I read this passage again. That's not what this passage teaches at all. Paul doesn't say that the Grace of God gave him the ability to tear out the thorn from his flesh and to carry on as a god-man. Paul says he pleaded with God to remove it (whatever it was), and God wouldn't. Some have speculated that the "thorn in the flesh" is physical. Maybe Paul was talking about failing eye sight, or maybe about arthritis, or maybe a disfiguring disease. But what do any of those things have to do with God's Grace? Of himself, Paul tells us that he does things he hates - things he doesn't want to do but can't seem to help. His hating of those things, which are evidentially against the Law (and therefore sin) proves that the Law is real. His doing them despite his own desire to NOT do them, proves that the real culprit isn't Paul's willing spirit, but his weak flesh. Paul is confessing here that despite being mightily used by God and being Saved and being a far more mature believer than I might even hope to be, that he is still a sinner. (see Romans 7:15-20) Paul isn't talking about a physical ailment in 2nd Corinthians. I believe he's talking about sins of the flesh. Can this be? I had originally learned that Grace is the "unmerited favor of God", that it can be contrasted with Mercy - as Mercy is "NOT giving the sinner what he deserves", and Grace is "Giving the sinner what he doesn't deserve." That definition seems to fit... ...I look up the word for "Grace" at www.blueletterbible.org I look at the original Greek for that word, what it is and what it means. The word is χάρις (charis). It appears 159 times in the New Testament. I start to go through the verses, and I try substituting the word "Grace" for the words "the ability to fulfill the righteous requirements of the Law through God's strength". I know, it's a wordy substitution - but you understand the principle. That definition doesn't fit. I look back at "Charis", and I look at how it is translated in the verses. It's translated not only as "Grace", but also as "favor", "credit", "thank(s)", and "pleasure". I look up the root word for Charis, and it's χαίρω (chairo). It appears 74 times in the New Testament, and it means "to rejoice", "to rejoice exceedingly", "to be exceedingly glad", it's both a greeting and a farewell... it's nothing at all to do with God's strength. "Lord", I say "what do You mean "Your Grace is sufficient"? I don't understand. You wouldn't allow me to sin? You hate sin." He does hate sin, friends. My sin is spiritual pride. Pride proceeds the fall. Pride is the greatest stink of all to Him. My sin boils down to wanting the glory, God's glory, for myself. My sin is thinking that I can perfect in the flesh what He began in the spirit. God didn't do something new here. He did something He's done before. He didn't remove the thorn. He proved to me that I can do nothing (apart from Christ, who strengthens me). He proved to me what Grace really means. Unmerited Undeserved Credit. But Lord, I cannot go on sinning. I know it is an abomination in Your sight. What am I to do, if You won't remove this thorn, and I can't do it alone? "Where sin abounds, Grace abounds much more." Romans 5:20 I don't have a license to sin. No one does. But this week God showed me what Grace means in a real way. He showed me I have a debt I can't repay. He showed me He gets the glory by showing us Grace: "...the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 4:15b ******************* Amen Lord, Yours is the Glory. Thank You Lord!