Hello again dear saints. Quite a lot has happened in a short time for our family. After attending a local church meeting, everyone decided to go to meetings there in the future. I am going along too, as they asked me to. I love my family and am encouraged that they want to go on with the Lord, but I must admit I am torn. I have told them that I would love to be with them and the saints there, but if anything comes up that goes against my conscience, or is divisive, I will not participate. We have been going for a month now and it has been a rocky time. Part of the meetings are very living, where the saints sing and testify. But when the second part of the meeting comes, after the Lord's table, the focus is on the HWFMR books. My family hates this part and the others in the meeting look mostly unhappy. I think most are trying to ignore what is happening and try to focus on the Lord, but still, the deadening effect is felt.
Of course, we have lively discussions about it on the way home and this leads to arguments. I am concerned about two things. Maybe some can give me advice on what has helped them. First, How do I maintain an openess towards the saints, when inwardly I am not agreeing with some of the doctrines and practises. I am trying, but it is a struggle. I have little trouble looking away from the individual peculiarities of each saint. But inwardly I am now resisting what I see as a movement that is deviating from the truth. I don't want to be part of this movement, but I do want to be part of the people involved.
Secondly, I find the booklets they go over dead boring and confusing at best. However, the writings from Nigel Tomes and John Myers I happily devour. This is leading to a difference between myself and others in my family. Not that they enjoy or read the booklets themselves, but the history we have is from the local church. But now I am changing and they do not understand when I talk about what I have read. This has led to tenseness and I am not too sure what to do about it. Anyone else with this problem?