Quote:
Originally Posted by aron
What does that have to do with local church discussions? Well, this former disaffected dope smoker used to love the meetings of the local church. As I said, we would all talk about what total losers we all were; all our failures with our parents and children and husbands and wives and bosses and subordinates, and how the mercy of God could penetrate any mess we got into. Every meeting turned into a celebration of redemption. I loved it. Here were people just as screwed up as I was, and it was okay. It felt like I was back at the keg party, only instead of plastic cups of beer they were passing around the Holy Spirit.
Eventually things changed. Big Brother kept showing up with a master program, and we all kept trying to line up with it, and failing.
The meetings of the local churches used to be a place where we could all tell our stories. And God's mercy would eventually shine through, in all of them. Nobody was beyond God's reach. It was awesome. It was like this great, collective, "Take that, Satan!" moment, from us all who had been abused by "the system". We really felt like we were stepping on the serpent's head.
But eventually "the system" took control.
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There was absolutely no way to compare the "thrill" of those early gatherings with the oppressive indoctrination sessions which later evolved. And it was not the natural progression of the Spirit of God growing within God's "messed up" children. We were continually subjected to ever changing mandates from headquarters where "Big Brother," the one who can "see" things we cannot, issued his regular decrees.
I can still remember my bewilderment upon learning that our testimony time, after the time of ministry, would be ending. "
Too many sea-stories." What's a sea-story? "
Brudder Lee feels the testimony time is dragging on." What does Brother Lee know about our testimony times? "
The church is taking a new direction in the meetings." What do you mean? That's the best time of the meeting. "
Trust the Lord; you'll see how the Lord will bless us from following Brudder Lee."
Eventually I learned that the only testimonies that were officially approved were the ones cheerleading the ministry. Personal testimonies by the saints would often be abruptly concluded with "
thank you brother, very good, thank you brother." It was all a part of Big Brother's master plan. He called it "God's economy," but actually it was "Lee's economy."