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finallyprettyokay · 08-21-2008, 08:30 AM

Roger said this is a fast moving thread. Boy oh boy. Some of us need to be getting more sleep!

So, there are a couple of things I would like to add to, and I think I am not going to take the time to find the quotes -- most of them have several places and people to quote, anyway.

About dating: Not dating does go some distance with avoiding falling into lustful sin. Unfortunately, I think the very quick marriages are one of the results of not having any sort of natural contact and situations with each other. So there has to be something in the middle. Girls on one side of the meetings, boys on the other just doesn't give young people a chance to learn about the other gender and about themselves in those situations. What kind of person you like and what kind you don't like, who would be a good lifetime partner and who wouldn't. I was shooting in the dark with this stuff, had no idea how to know a good partner when I saw one.

So the idea that several people have put forth about group situations, 6 or 8 people hanging out doing something together is a great idea. Or the very innovative idea I wrote about somewhere, where the parents said yeah, you can 'date' -- in the front yard.

But if you are not 'allowed' any contact with the other gender, those fast marriages are one result. My husband and I knew each other across the meeting hall for two years, but really I barely knew his name, we certainly didn't know each other at all. One day, the thought occurred to both of us and it might have been 3 weeks later that we were married, but I think it was two. Strangers married to each other. Next month will be 35 years for us, so I think we are going to make it.

Here's something I'll throw into the mix, see what comes of it. Regarding arranged marriages, I know of 2 or maybe 3 marriages that were arranged after the brother had gone to the 'elders' and shared that he was gay, or thought maybe he was. The 'fellowship'? Get married. That will solve the problem. One of the instances I am thinking about, the elders went to the brother and told him they thought he was gay, and that he should get married ASAP. In none of these cases were the sisters in on the discussion or given any information. Interestingly, the marriage where the elders were the ones who thought there was a problem worked out pretty well. At least, they are still married. They seem happy, I assume they are what they seem. (I knew that brother well, and am here to tell you that all the sisters liked him lots. He treated women well. He was kind and very much a gentleman.) But the cases where the brothers had self-identified as gay --- a disaster. And what a devastating thing for both the brother and the poor sister that had no idea she was supposed to be a 'cure'.

Anyone else know of similar cases? Tragic.

And, as I have written before, alot of the problem was young, inexperienced, untrained 'elders', in way over their head.

This thread has traveled over many paths, but I think it is still on topic -- how does the LC influence effect children, families.

08-21-2008, 08:30 AM	#376
finallyprettyokay Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 129	Roger said this is a fast moving thread. Boy oh boy. Some of us need to be getting more sleep! So, there are a couple of things I would like to add to, and I think I am not going to take the time to find the quotes -- most of them have several places and people to quote, anyway. About dating: Not dating does go some distance with avoiding falling into lustful sin. Unfortunately, I think the very quick marriages are one of the results of not having any sort of natural contact and situations with each other. So there has to be something in the middle. Girls on one side of the meetings, boys on the other just doesn't give young people a chance to learn about the other gender and about themselves in those situations. What kind of person you like and what kind you don't like, who would be a good lifetime partner and who wouldn't. I was shooting in the dark with this stuff, had no idea how to know a good partner when I saw one. So the idea that several people have put forth about group situations, 6 or 8 people hanging out doing something together is a great idea. Or the very innovative idea I wrote about somewhere, where the parents said yeah, you can 'date' -- in the front yard. But if you are not 'allowed' any contact with the other gender, those fast marriages are one result. My husband and I knew each other across the meeting hall for two years, but really I barely knew his name, we certainly didn't know each other at all. One day, the thought occurred to both of us and it might have been 3 weeks later that we were married, but I think it was two. Strangers married to each other. Next month will be 35 years for us, so I think we are going to make it. Here's something I'll throw into the mix, see what comes of it. Regarding arranged marriages, I know of 2 or maybe 3 marriages that were arranged after the brother had gone to the 'elders' and shared that he was gay, or thought maybe he was. The 'fellowship'? Get married. That will solve the problem. One of the instances I am thinking about, the elders went to the brother and told him they thought he was gay, and that he should get married ASAP. In none of these cases were the sisters in on the discussion or given any information. Interestingly, the marriage where the elders were the ones who thought there was a problem worked out pretty well. At least, they are still married. They seem happy, I assume they are what they seem. (I knew that brother well, and am here to tell you that all the sisters liked him lots. He treated women well. He was kind and very much a gentleman.) But the cases where the brothers had self-identified as gay --- a disaster. And what a devastating thing for both the brother and the poor sister that had no idea she was supposed to be a 'cure'. Anyone else know of similar cases? Tragic. And, as I have written before, alot of the problem was young, inexperienced, untrained 'elders', in way over their head. This thread has traveled over many paths, but I think it is still on topic -- how does the LC influence effect children, families.