Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry
Don, you are speaking something that needs to be spoken. Regarding marriages, I believe at times there's too much credence given to what the leadership thinks of a particular spouse potential. I've been told from brothers in the past sister's they had a burden for was discouraged because the sister was considered too new to the churchlife or deemed too beautiful for the brother, etc. Instead of seeking out advice from a mature brother whose been married to the same sister for 40-60 years, fellowship is sought out with a leader who may or may not be the best candidate for seeking advice on marriage.
Some of us who grew up in the local churches may have experienced what I have. There's the teaching of not dating before you're ready for marriage. How do you know when that time is? If you do feel you're at that time, how do you get to know someone of the opposite gender whether there's compatability or not? Often there's an invisible barrier if you say anything beyond the superficial greeting in passing, you may make the other person uncomfortable or you may raise eyebrows from certain brothers. What do you do? Seek fellowship from the brothers? There's an invisible obstacle and not knowing how to proceed. In my case I considered the social situation in my locality to be indifferent so I opened my mind beyond the local churches. I took the iniative and got to know a non-lc sister as a friend first and then marriage. Of course marriage was such a crucial decision, it needed countless hours of prayer; month after month. As it is now marriage of 11 years, a son of 9, and a daughter of 8.
Terry
|
Question:
Where did this stuff you referred to come from?
It was in Texas also. I did some of that awful fellowshiping about spouse potential. NOT GOOD. MY BAD. I only did it a couple of times but I feel like crawling into a hole even now.
It seemed like our culture regarding coutship, marriage and family was a strange amalgum of Chinese, Puritan and anti-modern. The elder, deacons and older sisters needed to seek the Lord for direction and knowledge regarding these matters and assist the young people not lord over them.
There was damage due to the church ignorance and to our not being able to receive ministry outside of WL.
In Christ Jesus there is hope for us all,
Hope, Don Rutledge