[Hope]

Dear Matt,

The vision was the big thing for me from the very beginning. I did not attach myself to a group or a ministry. This was difficult to explain to friends and family at the time. Everyone assumes you are attracted to personalities. James Barber always stressed that his vision was a man and that he followed WL just like Timothy followed Paul. For James, it was not Christ who is our life and the church as the Body of Christ but the ministry of WL. Benson Phillips had a very similar view. WL was God's man of faith and power for this hour. Thus, he attached himself to WL. Ray Graver was similar to Benson but with an even stronger view that included rendering service to the man of faith and power for this hour and seeking to duplicate that man in life and work. They were very successful in bringing this view into many of the local churches. Matt, here is where your premise of idolatry comes in.

There was a strong line in the local churches regarding the experience of Christ as life and seeking to practice the oneness of the Spirit etc. This kept me there for two decades but I was infected with the other notions. How did I get out? God's mercy. But I did a lot of damage to others because of the WL/BP/JB/RG vision. In trying to carry out the vision I thought I was carrying out, I was actually most of the time carrying out the other vision. Whew, is this as confusing as it sounds. Again this is a theme in my next chapter. This will take some real skill in telling the story. Pray for me. I actually believe that WL and many in his company had the same conflict within. Two things were going on within a single person.

In the very beginning, my vision was Christ as life, which I had learned from Ian Thomas, and the oneness of the Body of Christ based on the oneness of the Spirit and the oneness of the Faith. For years I sat along side brothers and sisters who used the same words as I and others but eventually I realized we had different definitions. Here is an example regarding "oneness." Oneness versus division is an important issue in the New Testament. Someone might declare that in Dallas we are standing for the "the oneness." All would say amen. But one group meant one with Christ and with all who were His dear believers while the other group meant one with certain personalities and a particular work and ministry. Later we began to learn we were different. Both groups had every right to be bothered and upset. The crowd that wanted to be one with the Apostle was bothered that ole Don Rutledge had turned his back on the ministry and had broken the oneness. They were correct, but I never knew that I had signed on to be one with someone's work and ministry. On the other hand, I and others were put out that the first group was blatantly promoting division on several levels and they had overthrown the Headship of Christ. Yet somehow we had a history that was intertwined. The "Oneness" issue is one of many major disconnects we found that we had.

In Christ Jesus there is hope for us all,

Hope, Don Rutledge