[Hope]

Originally Posted by Terry

In my opinion, the elders had no authority how your parents raised you. All they could do is express their concern. If the elders didn't like whatever decision your parents made, it's not their business. Isn't the function of elders to be bondslaves through their work? To minister, to exhort, to teach, to do all for the building up?

Terry

I know when I began to write the history many were interested to know how the eldership worked and how our relationship with WL and the LSM worked. The way the thread has gone has given an excellent opportunity to take a look at some of the service of the so called leading ones.

In Dallas, the elders were usually the last to leave the hall. Many nights my phone rang after mid-night. Poor old George Whitington, the papa elder and master bond-slave was deluged everyday as soon as he arrived from work. There was a dear sister, (one of the junior high students who was saved in Waco) who lived with George. She once told me that she would never marry an elder because she had seen how much George and Cleo, his wife, had to lay down their lives to serve others.

Serve others? There were many young people who wanted your prayers and advice as to college, dating, engagement, marriage, where to live, what job to take, their parents, their boss and on and on. I have had college students call me at 2:00 in the am. They could not sleep because they were so worried about what to major in and wanted to talk. No problem. Slaves do not have the right to chose when they are called to duty.

One of the most difficult matters to handle was a request for fellowship regarding marriage. I cannot count how many times I heard WL give the advice of "the elders should not put people together." "If the marriage does not work out then you will be blamed, the church will be blamed and the Lord's Testimony damaged." But I never heard him say anything about what if someone approaches you about their getting married. Are you just to utter some platitudes on marriage? What if you see the relationship leading to over the cliff? Should you just say nothing less you be accused of manipulating people? In my own experience, 95% of the time I had no particular impressions regarding a couple. They got the general Biblical help and I wanted to be sure that they realized I was for them and available. That needed to be demonstrated. It could not just be a nice slogan. It does take time to demonstrate your love and care. George and Bob Bynum were outstanding at this and far ahead of me.

On two separate occasions I was approached by a couple who were considering marriage. The inward anointing said warning, warning! I had to be honest and faithful. The brother had lived with me for over two years and was very very dear to me and to my entire family. My sons loved this brother dearly and still do to this day. The brother was very upset with me but took the fellowship and stepped back from the relationship. Later he met the sister he was to marry. They have a wonderful marriage. He has thanked me at least 50 times over the years for saving him from a life wrecking decision. The other case was a sister set on getting married. She found a boy who would have her. Again the Lord said I must serve them by giving a warning and asking them to reconsider. A few weeks later, her parents spoke with me regarding my fellowship. They had been visitors for a few weeks and began to attend because their two daughters had become regulars. They told me that because I had the courage and leading to approach their daughter in such a way they saw that the Lord was here. They were so happy for their daughter that the marriage did not happen. Later the daughter thanked us for the fellowship.

But on the other hand what was done could have become ground for unhappiness and the charge of manipulation and control. Same when saints wanted fellowship about jobs, college, where to live etc. Not only were there the normal situations but we did have many dear ones who had damaged souls and needed constant special care.

On several occasions, I was approached by parents to speak with their teen-age children or young adult children regarding some issues. Take a deep breath and turn to your spirit. Of course you do not say, "hey son your mother wants me to talk with you about your ....." That would have been the end. How do you get close to the young person? They are going to be spooked at the slightest misstep. Once a deeply concerned mother asked me to visit her immoral son. When I appeared, all I could say was "hello D. How are you?" Then he unloaded on me and told me to never see him again. Of course, I was open to the charge that I handled it all wrong. Maybe I did. He died a few years later due to his sinful life. My inabilities to help were certainly evident.

This kind of activity was the main duty of the elders. Giving messages was a piece of cake. But for the real job of shepherding you always felt inadequate. If you had opportunity at a conference etc to ask for advice from other elders you did. Often this question - advice was the content of the WL private small group gatherings during a conference.

To defer to the "ministry" for direction of the local assembly was an easy decision to make. The stress on local leadership was more than they often could handle and frankly often being over their heads led them to choose the centralization and promoting of WL. If some elders used the Lee statement about putting the church first and all would be well, I can understand. They sure hoped it was true.

In the proof case which has come up on this thread, I am still wondering about some of the details. Did the parents actually ask the Houston elders to intervene? Did the Houston elders actually expect their fellowship to be followed or else? I learned fairly early on that the brothers and sisters took everything I said very seriously and that made the job even harder. One of the undertones I got to know was, "If Don does not give a specific answer that means he either does not trust you or feels you are not open and not in life. But if I gave some fellowship that was not appreciated then we were open to problems in the future, but even worse what if someone took your advice, fellowship and things went south. Boy oh boy!! Wouldn't it be easier just to follow some higher deputy authority? Thus it was not hard to sell this teaching to the elders and co-workers.

Forget about the errant teachings for a moment, I and the other elders made lots of mistakes, lots of mistakes. The tragedy was that the mistakes were with real people not with objects.

In Christ Jesus there is hope for us all,

Hope, Don Rutledge