Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio
Peter's testimony here speaks volumes as to why he leans in the direction he does ... and why someone like me might have the slightest of difficulty relating to his views.
My testimony was that I never did groups well. I never wore that sweatshirt, "plays well with others." No one ever noticed how well I did church, neither commented on how spiritual I was. I was the awkward guy who just showed up one day, and never required the brothers to "labor" on me. It was like I had left planet earth, and was now surrounded by Jesus and "god-men." I had left an environment where I trusted no one, having been betrayed at times by even my best "friends," and was now surrounded by trustworthy brothers in Christ. Consequently I was a sponge to both the best and the worst of group dynamics. For the first time in my life, I really trusted the "men" in my life. The Lord was so real in all these contacts, whether privately or in public meetings.
On the positive side, nearly all that happened in my new group life, would enable me to be filled in spirit, and to know the love of Jesus. My conscience became alive for the first time in my life. I was no longer under condemnation living a life in darkness, and every one could see it on my face. On the flip side, the brothers who shepherded me, often exploited my vulnerable nature. I had assumed that all their guidance must be from Jesus directly, and in some cases it took me years to realize how I was taken advantage of.
Others have mentioned in their posts how proper boundaries and personal self worth are absolutely essential for healthy group dynamics. I could not agree more. Humanly speaking, that was one of our greatest needs in the LC's. Rare was a LC leader who was ever willing to be limited by boundaries, and that is why so many saints have been hurt. Without boundaries, we surely are ripe for abuse. Sorry to say, I was close to 40 years old before I even realized how "vital" these interpersonal boundaries are. Today I know LC brothers closer to 60 years old, who are just becoming aware of what should have been learned decades ago.
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Ohio:
This raises a very important point in this whole discussion. You
found your Christian faith in a dynamic way (though, yes, I know you were raised in the RCC). Second generation are
raised in the culture of their faith and
may or may not find the spirituality.
For second generation - really in any group, but its highlighted in a faith-based group - the
default is "faith as cultural norms," and it requires
a lot to find a genuine faith, if ever. It is not hard to spend a
life involved with, pursuing, preaching and working for a "faith" that is just based on cultural norms (albeit Christian and well-intentioned).
But, as you note, it is hard
even as a "first generation" - in large part
precisely because the group dymanic can be such a respite from the harsher, unloving world from which you emerged. Presicely
because of how nurturing and loving a group can be, it makes one even
more susceptible to abuse, if and when it enters...
I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but that's what I hear from this post. Always willing to be corrected...
In Love,
Peter