Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Debelak
I do "groups" really well. Too well. Put me in a group of Christians and I don't need faith at all to feel good about myself, to do good things for the group, and indeed, for others to think, and praise me for, how "spiritual I am."
This is the side that is different than a critique just on the LC. My problem with "group culture" is not just the abuses that can take place (which are many) but also because of how easy it is to be "good at it," simply by mastering cultural norms, as one might in any other human organizations. There's nothing "spiritual" or faith-based about it.
|
Peter's testimony here speaks volumes as to why he leans in the direction he does ... and why someone like me might have the slightest of difficulty relating to his views.
My testimony was that I never did groups well. I never wore that sweatshirt, "
plays well with others." No one ever noticed how well I did church, neither commented on how spiritual I was. I was the awkward guy who just showed up one day, and never required the brothers to "labor" on me. It was like I had left planet earth, and was now surrounded by Jesus and "god-men." I had left an environment where I trusted no one, having been betrayed at times by even my best "friends," and was now surrounded by trustworthy brothers in Christ. Consequently I was a sponge to both the best and the worst of group dynamics. For the first time in my life, I really trusted the "men" in my life. The Lord was so real in all these contacts, whether privately or in public meetings.
On the positive side, nearly all that happened in my new group life, would enable me to be filled in spirit, and to know the love of Jesus. My conscience became alive for the first time in my life. I was no longer under condemnation living a life in darkness, and every one could see it on my face. On the flip side, the brothers who shepherded me, often exploited my vulnerable nature. I had assumed that all their guidance must be from Jesus directly, and in some cases it took me years to realize how I was taken advantage of.
Others have mentioned in their posts how proper boundaries and personal self worth are absolutely essential for healthy group dynamics. I could not agree more. Humanly speaking, that was one of our greatest needs in the LC's. Rare was a LC leader who was ever willing to be limited by boundaries, and that is why so many saints have been hurt. Without boundaries, we surely are ripe for abuse. Sorry to say, I was close to 40 years old before I even realized how "vital" these interpersonal boundaries are. Today I know LC brothers closer to 60 years old, who are just becoming aware of what should have been learned decades ago.