[OBW]

I hate to be a little prophetic, but despite a real need to deal with the worst aspects of the LRC, every time that we get into the kinds of things being discussed here, civility begins to disappear. The rhetoric becomes excessively heated, and a bunch of people get hurt or upset, and then some just leave in a huff.

The problems are numerous. They may not be insurmountable, but they are difficult.

Emotions. Those actually hurt have a legitimate need. And they have real pain. But at the same time, it is too easy to interpret things through the lens of pain and presume bad intent on everyone who does not just agree. For example, in this case, any comment concerning roles becomes suspect, even when it is quoted from scripture. A role for a woman that is different from that of a man is presumed to be abusive. (Have we never considered that as much as we — including me — would like to read absolute and total equality into everything, it may not be so? Might it just be our American culture coming through? I'm not saying. But it could be.)

Nay-sayers. Of any kind. Someone makes a blanket statement and someone cries "foul" because they never saw anything like that. Or someone makes a specific statement and someone cries "foul" universally because they never saw anything like that. It goes both ways. (Note that I use "Nay-sayers" loosely. I'm applying it to any disagreement. And when charges are filed, anyone who presumes that there may not be legitimate disagreements with some or all of those charges, even just in gradients of applicability, is asking for disappointment.)

Context. In a time and place removed from the site of the alleged offenses, there is some need of facts. Broad generalizations about others heard through the grapevine, or even just second-hand, are problematic.

Correlations. Not really the right word, but it will do. Evidence of a culture that is backward is not evidence of abuse. It might suggest mental and psychological abuse of a sort. It might provide an environment that attracts the kind of people who would take advantage to do much worse abuse. But it is not evidence of abuse. Men in corporate America, working in companies that do not look the other way at little "indiscretions" in the office place still find sexual harassment that did not come to light until it was a full-blown problem. But most importantly, you can't assert that there is abuse because the culture and teaching of the LRC is male-dominated in one of the more backward ways seen in America today.

Somehow, I wish this could be discussed. Without some immediately heating up the tar and gathering feathers. Last time that happened, we discovered that the story was not what had been presented. I am not making a comment on this story. I'm just noting that jumping on the "get the #*@&^$#" bandwagon does not further the kind of investigation that is needed.

And an investigation is needed. Not because we want gory details. But because we end out with nothing but battered emotions if we continue to rant about every elder as being responsible. And every assembly being the same. And every member still buying into the particularly despicable parts.

And then those who want to just run with it get upset at those who see that there is nothing yet for us to run with. I'm not saying that there is not the kind of abuse (molestation, rape, etc.) that has been charged. But if we have nothing more than has been posted to date, the only place to take the charge would be to certain persons who have not been named. And unless they are elders, they should not be named unless the person actually abused is ready to publicly name them and file charges. That is because the forum can be sued for slander and libel if such charges are made public here and are not proved to be true. And so far it does not look like there will be such proof.

This means that unless there will actually be the personal testimonies of their abuse by specific ones and the improper actions by elders in handling the events, we are just asking for another ugly fight. And we will upset those who actually have been abused. I do not suggest that they have not been. But something more than generalities must be discussed, or alternately it needs to be dropped.

I thought Igzy was borderline ugly in his push-back. But on second look, he was right. And the only place that continuing in the way we are heading leads is to disappointment, frustration, anger, etc. It might feel good for Unregistered (or whatever it is now) to get it off her chest. But the rest is predictable. Like what happens when bulls get let loose in china closets. Nothing but damage.

And we need more damage added onto what has already been perpetrated on these sisters?

I guess we think we do.