[coalsoffire]

Ohio, Truth & Igzy: thank you for the warm welcome & comments. As for my username, well you know how "superstitious" the Catholics can be :P --my Catholic friend told me of his habit of using Proverbs by randomly pointing to a verse... I modified this method and do it electronically. When asking the Lord for a username (queenofkudzu was not resonating with my spirit) I was lead to the verse in proverbs that Ohio quoted. I thought it was a wonderful verse, and it was a verse to which I have subscribed in the past. BTW, thank you for the the comments you shared on the verse, Ohio--very nourishing.

Igzy, it appears to be my habit to change religions every 10 to 14 years or so. Born and baptized (age 6, then later age 12) a Baptist, converted to the church of Christ at age 14--did a correspondence study, then called up Oak Hills Church of Christ (same church where Max Lucado now preaches) to come get me to be baptized "for the remission of my sins." They did so, and my parents were quite disturbed with me, but eventually they let me continue in this vein. Hmm... Vein--a good word! I met my husband at that church of Christ, got married there by the elder who had baptized me.

Met a sister later down the line--age 25 now--we bought raw milk together. Started meeting with the church & it was a good experience for me: I learned to be hospitable (a skill at which I was originally unlearned), developed better boundaries, began to "exercise my spirit" (an 'organ' severely underused before), enjoyed some very warm & kind human relationships, expanded my horizons... Never went to a training, always babysat instead--I knew that, psychologically, I would not be able to make it through such an intense experience.

I walked away one day, embarrassed by the behavior of the group as a whole--their ridicule of other believers. I'd had enough of that. Watched Babette's Feast and shared it with some others--great EXIT movie. I remember an elder taking to me about some turmoil in Anaheim & something about Philip Lee needing something like a whirlpool bath or something for some health condition. I had never even heard of Philip Lee & I did not know what his health condition had to do with the price of tea in China... Really disturbing (to my spirit) conversation.

Plus I was dealing with some issues that needed more than "just Christ and the church" to address and resolve. Boy did my saying of that very admonition ("You just need Christ & the church!") to one poor, struggling believer come back to bite me!

I resolved I would go nowhere else until I heard God's marching orders. Age 46 now, still married to the same man, 4 children. Returned to college. Met a philosophy professor (the Catholic friend I mentioned earlier) who took me to a Cathedral one day. I sensed the presence of God in there! Surprise! Surprise!

Graduated in 1999, moved from Texas to Georgia, where my husband was now employed. Converted to Catholicism, age 50. I remember this, as I turned 50 on Ash Wednesday that year. Momento Mori doubled! Or tripled even, considering I was becoming a Catholic in earnest. One good thing from this experience was seeing the good things about the Catholic church from the inside out, versus seeing the bad things from the outside in.

I am not sure why I am now a "lapsed Catholic," but that I am. It may be when the precious La Salette priest, Father Pete, had to leave & was replaced by a diocesean priest. Due to: church politics.

I was drawn, for awhile, and up to not too long ago, to Eastern religions & philosophies, and, eventually to nondualism, which I never "grasped," but to which I was inexplicably attracted. I was even on a forum for this topic, but some little Christian something inside me never went away. My youngest, but now grown, son was interested in "going to a meeting," as we talked about the church-life from time to time over the years, in comparison with the churches he had attended here and there.

So I looked on the Internet & there was one about an hour's drive from us & we went. The Lord's table meeting was much like I remembered, and it was enjoyable. It was a positive experience for me. My son, who was about 10 years old when we quit going, thought the meeting was "strange," but there were things he enjoyed about it as well. My husband will have no part in it, but that's fine. Or maybe not. I have been lonely in all the churches, usually attending without him, even at the church of Christ. He was never much of a church goer after we got married.

Perhaps that is why I am drawn to these types of forums (well just this one, and the other one I mentioned). I feel more connected on them than in person. Here we are not seen in a visible social context, but in a more mysterious, universal one.

Thank you, everyone.