Hi Mike,
Very good point. I have learned a lot from the forum because of the different views. The Barber boys point of view says a lot about not only the LC but about James and Virginia and their home life. I would not say they had a front row seat but rather a front row seat to James Barber. I am sorry they suffered but their problems are much more their own family's deal than the lc. But I do agree that we can learn a lot about the lc and the James Barber version from them. One thing for sure - James was a very peculiar person and his position and the LC pattern of exalting leaders aka deputy authority caused a lot of abnormal development. Same can be said about many of the leaders, such as Ray Graver, Patsy Freeman etc. Most of the extreme problems are associated with a few personalities. Particular personalities gaining dominance combined with the deputy authority thing caused too much hurt.
The hardest part of the lc experience for me was my interactions with the big time leaders. On the other hand, being with the regular brothers and sisters was a great joy. My children loved the single brothers who lived with us at various times. My grown adult sons have very fond memories of the church in Dallas and the single brothers with whom they interacted. We have a wonderful relationship with our children and not one has anything bad to say about the church in Dallas. Several times they have been with us when some of the old timers were together and started hashing out the problems. They have scolded me many times for dwelling on the negatives when there were so many good things. They loved the gospel meetings, Jr. High and High School conferences, baby sitting with their best friends, brothers who lived with us, and the out of town saints who took hospitality during conferences.
We currently have great fellowship within the family. They would go back to the church life they knew in Dallas in a New York minute. How come the difference from the Barber clan? Well for one thing I kept my kids away from anything that came out of Anaheim. I shielded them from the Paul Hon messes. When we coordinated with various brothers in the area regarding a junior high type conference, I insisted the others helping would not put any negatives or phony expectations on the kids. I was pretty rough on the Irving brothers about some of their negative assessments and cursing of the kids. Nope, we were not going to have it. They appreciated it and got some help.
OK City was the source of plenty of slander. I got my share and even my children were slandered. When my boys heard of things being said about them, they were very upset. It was way off, not true and a shame. I stayed cool on the outside for their sake but realized there was a bad source in OK City.
Because I selectively received James' fellowship and a few times to his face told him I did not agree with some proposal, he boasted to other elders that he was going to stop Don Rutledge. I was not worthy of being stopped but his style of oppression and control was not coming to Dallas. My major regret is that I was so dull and lacking the so called djohnson "gravitas" that I did not stand up to Benson and to most of the foolish stuff from Anaheim and thus, dear brothers and sisters were hurt. My bad, my bad.
Mike, going forward as I tell the story you will read about the wonderful saints in the lc, saints like you and your beautiful family. They were everywhere and the Lord was so wonderful. Yes, His name is Wonderful. I will write about the serious problematic teachings, and the inside view of the leadership. That is the perspective I hope I can bring that many have not had. Pray for me that I can complete the task and will do all unto Christ. My desire is that the brothers and sisters can go on without the problems acquired from the past but can build on the wonderful things that were there.
Thankful Jane and others have wondered about my position. She and I also believe you have a kind of multiple choice question. Is it that the bad leaders messed things up but the basic direction was good? Is it all bad? etc. Well, it is what it is. Let us forget trying to pigeon hole us former members. The people are the main thing. Christ is the answer for all of us. We have a bright future and destiny. We need to be restored in many ways and need to have our discernment sharpened.
Finally Mike, (boy did I get carried away, I need to get back to work!!
) I do not swallow anything just because someone declares their view of the statue has some validity. Get enough skewed opinions together and who knows what might pop out. But let us all keep describing our angle and be willing to consider the view of others.
In Christ Jesus there is hope for us all,
Hope, Don Rutledge