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Old 07-20-2011, 11:37 AM   #20
ToGodAlone
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 95
Default Re: An Outsider's Story

Quote:
Originally Posted by rayliotta View Post
Mr. Unregistered Guest,

I wanted to respond to your post, I'm not sure there's anything I can add to what's already been said. Igzy's and Ohio's posts resonated with me in particular.

By way of background, I myself left "the Recovery", finally, a couple years ago. I'm older than you, but still young enough to get on the other posters' nerves around here. Suffice it to say that I wouldn't want to see you in the same experience I saw my own parents in, for so many years, growing up.

I know you don't see yourself and your girlfriend as "unequally yoked", because you both consider yourselves Christians. But there is a tendency in "the Recovery" to promote the idea that inside/outside the Recovery is, actually, unequally yoked. The group is just that special, just that unique in the eyes of the God of the universe.

But I don't want to exaggerate, because it is very true that there's a whole range of attitudes that exist within the Recovery. As much as they like to emphasize "two sides to everything", I believe most things in human life are a matter of degree. At the end of the day, these attitudes may depend more on not only the particular city you are in, but also the people within that locality that your girlfriend is close to.

But more than anything, I would ask this question (and I'm not asking you to answer here): What is her parents' attitude toward all this? Are they comfortable with the relationship? Do they want to end her involvement with you? Somewhere in between? I believe there are those in the Recovery who, though they are there, they've been there a long time, they're happy there, they're comfortable there, yet when it comes down to it, they really don't buy into the more strident claims about what the Recovery really is. Sooner or later, their kids pick up on this, and it is reflected in their personal choices.

I think you may already know the answer....
Heh, her parents never wanted me to be with her in the first place. This is out of the mentality that she was too young to be in a relationship and whatnot. Standard conservative attitude. However, I think me not being a member of the LRC has something to do with it as well. They seem pretty set in their ways and are very traditional Asian parents (oh yeah, we're both Asian) so combining that with LRC views on things like dating, and I think you know what comes out. That being said, she hasn't really cared that much about it and her parents have always been outwardly kind to me. It's more of a front than anything, but it's better than open displeasure...
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