Re: The Gross Violations
Some Facts for Clarification
I’m responding to some things in some recent posts. Just to be clear, it was in 1990, not in 1977, that I was involved in trying to save the marriage which Ben M was breaking up.
As for the squashing of a “sisters’ rebellion” being used like a smokescreen to cover up Ben’s sin, I think there are some facts that show that isn’t what happened. According to Don Rutledge’s post on the Bereans about the Lee-led cover-up of Ben’s sin (early 80s), Ben’s sin was discovered by Ray when Ben was in Irving. At that time Ben confessed to Ray that it had been going on even when he was in Arlington. (Don’s post is in the PDF letter attached to post #1.)
Also, I think it is important to make it plain that Ben’s infidelity in Arlington/Irving was not with the sister, the elder’s wife, that he later seduced and married. That happened in the early 1990s, a number of years after the Irving cover-up. Ben’s infidelity in Irving was not with an LC sister. (The source of this piece of information is Don R.)
The Ben M Connection to Us in Houston
I’d like to clarify a little about the Ben M connection to us in Houston. First of all, what Benson and Ray actually did to Ben at that time was, in my view, worthy of the sentiments ZNP expressed when he said, “I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes …” I believe that the control that Benson and Ray exercised over Ben when they moved him away to Arlington may have played a role in what subsequently happened to Ben.
John and I both now believe that Ben’s weeping (see The Thread of Gold, p 162, “A Weeping Brother”) was evidence of his being convicted, while still in Houston, about his failing moral condition. After the “weeping meeting,” Ben followed up with John and me concerning our fellowship in that meeting about church couples needing marriage help and told us that he also believed this was a real need. He wanted to do something in the church there to help in that vein and wanted us to be involved (The Thread of Gold, p. 169, at the end of “A Baton Rouge Outpost”).
We now believe that Ben’s weeping and his subsequent fellowship with us about help for marriages was evidence of his being in a frame of mind to take steps towards possibly getting help with his own problems. If he had remained as the leading elder in Houston and been allowed to try to do something on behalf of couples and marriages, he might have been saved from the terrible path he traveled down. Benson and Ray’s control of him put a stop to this possibility.
John and I believe that Ben’s removal from Houston may have been due to (1) Ben having “lost his authority” (in Benson and Ray’s minds) when he showed weakness by weeping in front of others and (2) Ben possibly telling Ray of his desire to do something to help couples in Houston. Marriage help was definitely not in the Witness Lee program; and, those of us who know Ray, know that if he heard of such an idea, alarm bells would have been set off in his Lee-saturated psyche; i.e., an elder who wanted to do something in the church in Houston to help couples could not be left in place as the leading elder.
Ray was in the “weeping” meeting (7 people present); and, we learned years later from Ben, that Ray called Benson (in Dallas) immediately after that meeting to report on it. It was only a matter of months after this meeting when the boom descended on us and also when Ben was moved away from Houston. I don't think this was the reason they came down on us, but our situation and Ben’s were not unrelated.
Thankful Jane
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