I am reading a book on the permanency of marriage by the late renowned preacher David Pawson titled "Remarriage is Adultery Unless ..." and after reading it, I feel like I've been deceived on this topic my whole life.
Currently the permanency of marriage is the minority view in evangelical Christianity but it was actually the unanimous view for the early church continuing for 1500 years until the reformation.
This view says that marriage is permanent until the death of a spouse just like the words of the common wedding vow "until death do us part" and that abandonment, abuse and adultery are only grounds for divorce or separation but not remarriage.
A major point of confusion in modern interpretations of Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 is the assumption that porneia (sexual immorality) includes adultery.
Matthew 19:9
“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality [porneia], and marries another, commits adultery [moicheia].”
But this fails linguistically and logically. Greek has a distinct and precise word for adultery: moicheia. In the same sentence, Jesus says remarriage results in moicheia, thus distinguishing it from porneia. If porneia meant adultery, the sentence would be needlessly repetitive:
Matthew 19:9
"Whoever divorces his wife, except for adultery, and marries another, commits adultery."
Such redundancy would make no sense, especially in a legal context with Pharisees present so clarity matters. Rather, Jesus likely meant for porneia to refer to premarital or unlawful sexual unions, such as fornication during betrothal (see Matthew 1:18-19, where Joseph considers divorcing Mary for suspected porneia) or incestuous marriages prohibited in Leviticus 18.
Further, the exception clause appears only in Matthew—a Gospel written to a Jewish audience familiar with betrothal practices. The stricter teachings in Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18 omit any exception, reinforcing the interpretation that porneia is not general adultery but something unique to Matthew’s context.
Interestingly, the King James Version is closer to this interpretation by rendering porneia as "fornication" (premarital relations).
Also if Jesus had intended porneia to include adultery, then presumably a man looking at a woman with lust would qualify for divorce and remarriage according to Matthew 5:28 in the context of giving the same prohibition against divorce and remarriage four verses later in Matthew 5:32.
Yet Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage was so shocking that His disciples responded, “If such is the case… it is better not to marry” (Matt. 19:10). It makes more sense in this context that Jesus only allowed for divorce and remarriage if the original marriage was invalid to begin with. In this scenario, a man whose wife left him would therefore be forced into celibacy rather than remarry while the spouse was still alive and this is exactly what Jesus goes on to describe in Matthew 19:10-12.
The Apostle Paul also had the same understanding of the permanency of marriage according to the following verses:
Romans 7:2-3:
“A married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage..
if she marries another man while her husband is alive, she shall be called an adulteress.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11:
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (
but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
For those interested in doing more research, I recommend Pawson's book. I also came across a website with testimonies and more scripture related to marriage permanency:
https://cadz.net/olga.html
https://cadz.net/Final%20Booklet%20SEPT%202017.pdf