[jszholmes]

Hi,

I'm Jsz and without disclosing too much about myself or others I want to give my brief experience and a prayer request.

The LC was my home but also the place that I struggled with. I remember growing up there was always the silent demand to appear 'saint-like' and never feeling like I could actually be myself. On the one hand the saints felt like family yet on the other hand I felt like I was surrounded by strangers. Generally you'd associate being in a home to be the place where you would relax or having a meal with someone to be enjoyable and to catch up. But often it felt like a duty or better yet an 'appointment'. It never felt like I was hanging out rather it felt like this constant pressure brought in by saints coaxing me to join the meetings or go to the conferences. If it wasn't for all the unspoken rules I genuinely believe I would've found it more enjoyable but instead I felt like I had to put up a facade amongst people that felt like my family. I was so tired of being boxed-in. I was so tired of figuring out who actually cared for me or was sent to 'shepherd'/check up on me.I was so tired of proclaiming 'Thank you Lord for my spirit' even though inwardly I felt spiritually drained from doing so. I was so tired of the older ones hawking around me and the other saints my age trying to push us to be more like them and 'enjoy the Lord' while parroting a bunch of spiritual quotes. The list could go on...

Saints, I have some prayer requests because I can't do this on my own and I need the prayers of the Body. To this day, my heart goes out to the saints trapped in the LC.

- I pray for the all saints to come to God instead of trying to please the demands of this man-made system.

- I pray for the veil to be lifted. May their eyes see the lies and deception that's developed in this system.

- I pray for God's love to be poured into all the hearts of the saints because love truly is the most excellent way.

- Personally I need prayer for my going on and I pray for all those still struggling to adjust to life beyond the LCs.


Thank you saints,

Jsz Holmes