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Every child comes into the world helpless, and told (and shown) what to eat, what to wear, what to think and to speak. And there’s always a bias, often implicit, sometimes explicit. “This is the way to do things.” But in fact it is really only one possible way out of many.
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From a once upon a time churchkid, you were ingrained with submission and authority. Learned helplessness for me was being raised without boundaries, not knowing it needed to be created, and regretting later in life I never did.
Having boundaries is necessary for youths, young adults, and people of every age. Submission is not absolute when it comes to the brothers.
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When we are confronted with a problem, we have no skills to solve it, and resolve the difficulty. C
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This is what happens when you want to say no; to self-advocate. You know to comply is the only answer to avoid being labeled.
Little do you realize, your parents are in the same position. When we are confronted with a problem, we have no skills to solve it, and resolve the difficulty. "We are forced to ignore, to pretend."