Quote:
Originally Posted by aron
I want to respect everyone's privacy & dignity, but we're facing a serious issue here. There's extensive research on learned helplessness and how it can affect families and and churches under controlling and abusive leadership.
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I agree that privacy should be respected here. I also agree that the environment is toxic for healing. 12 step programs might be accepted with an eye roll but when you’re indoctrinated as a child that those elders hold the answers- it’s got to be complicated to your healing. I’ve seen addicts/struggling people get temporary help in the LC. But no matter what they say, they can’t and don’t fix these issues. Trauma doesn’t just go away- it will keep affecting you unless you do the actual work which WL does not teach. Sorry, he doesn’t. Even if God is involved, it just doesn’t work that way. We can see in almost 2024 now what works and doesn’t through the research on these issues. My dad was an elder, but really he was just a CPA who had the capacity to do both. But they’re not trained in any sort of therapy- with maybe the fewest of exceptions. They’re not even mandatory reporters. I remember overhearing very serious things people would talk about with my dad. They use an arbitrary man’s words as their guidelines and can’t see the damage it does over and over again. I just don’t see this as a people problem- it’s a system problem. No one should counsel anyone in a church/elder situation without some sort of third party accountability and at least marginally accepted guidelines to follow. How arrogant to think Witness Lee’s words are the end all/be all to counsel people through all the hard things life throws at us? I know our culture is more aware of this now, but it sounds like they’re still doing things the same way. Im personally disturbed thinking about how grossly irresponsible it is. There’s a reason we need people in certain roles to be mandatory reporters. They have a responsibility to an organization bigger than themselves. Certain practices stop abuse and keep a safer environment for everyone. Local church elders take the title, but not the actual responsibility of doing this safely. I’m just sad and the whole thing is depressing. Since I stopped meeting with the local churches, I’ve heard of 4 suicides happening since around 2017. I knew 3 of them- all church kids. Two were kids of elders. When are they ever going to wake up? Will they ever? I just have to bless and walk away. I can’t be like them and think it’s my job to change or educate (they indoctrinate!) people on what I believe and my reasons behind my beliefs. One thing I’ve learned in the 7 ish years since leaving is that is not a job I need to take on. Recognizing that it’s difficult only bc I was raised to care what others think and change them- it is really freeing! I don’t have to take that on. Hallelujah!! (They don’t own that word either��)