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Originally Posted by Recovering
My impression of Victor is that he always seemed a gentle soul and sincere, but my experience is limited. Last I talked to him several years ago, I still thought he was a decent guy.
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For the most part, he could be a gentle soul. I very much looked up to him for many years, but very early on I learned that there was to be no debating him on Recovery doctrine or the decisions of the leadership. In these situations, he was not so gentle anymore. I still remember when he tried to teach me of a particular doctrine early on. I told him that while I thought it was an interesting theory, I didn't believe the scripture he presented sufficiently supported the doctrine to the point where we should say it was absolute truth like they did in The Recovery. He became quite angry with me because I could not "see the truth" in the scriptures. It was very scary for me, and it was not the first time he would lay it into me for questioning the Recovery or the decisions of the elders.
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I was discussing this post with my wife this morning, and we agreed that these men are are probably typical examples of brothers in leadership in TLR. They love the Lord and are sincere in their pursuit of him; they genuinely believe in doctrines like locality as the genuine ground of oneness; they have experiences that reinforce the narrative of "degraded Christianity", and they have a least a little human capacity for leadership. They also find themselves in church leadership (elders) and positions of responsibility (responsible ones) without adequate preparation and often in way over their heads. They start to notice problems, and may or may not be able to realize that they are fruits of the culture, not exceptions to it. But in any case, whether consciously or not they feel trapped, unable to make a change with so many people depending on them for care and relationships and reputations at stake. Some unfortunately begin to rationalize things that bother their conscience, and without realizing it they begin to practice patterns of spiritual abuse. Others end up processing the inner conflict with a lot of mental gymnastics and thought-stopping calling on the Lord. I've seen it go both ways.
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My mother, who encountered them briefly during my final year in The Recovery, feels the same about Victor in particular. He is a trapped soul, but she thinks he's wise enough to realize that something is wrong and is simply too sunk in to want to do anything about it. I'm not so certain from the things I've seen and heard, but one can hope... My heart is particularly broken over him, but I could not in good conscience remain in The Lord's Recovery simply because "the brothers" and "the good times." To me, it is an insult to use our love for one another as an excuse to ignore evil and act wickedly.
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I was on that path myself, and only stepped back from my role as a "responsible one" when the dissonance became too hard to bear. But it was hard and I definitely felt trapped, because at that time, I was really concerned about not stumbling the saints and fearful of the loss of relationships.
As someone formerly on that path, I hope that we will pray for these brothers to have sensitized consciences and strength for repentance and restoration where needed.
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I dearly hope so as well. It brings my heart great pain to think of them. I found out that Victor and some other loved ones were quite upset with me when I departed, but as I've said, my conscience cannot abide what I witnessed. This was only multiplied when I realized the exact same issue is quite pervasive throughout that denomination. If I was 99% certain I made the right decision in leaving before, I am now 100% certain after having reviewed Lee's teachings, having seen the testimonies of others, and having researched the history of that sect.