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This makes my heart hurt. I did manage to make friends in TLR but I always had guilt regarding this. Today, whenever I run into a current member who knows me, they're polite but keep the conversation light in case I infect them, I guess. No desire to continue the 20+ years of routine, personal, contact...outside of maybe bringing me back.
But I've moved on and, in the past several years, established new relationships that are fulfilling. And guilt-free.
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gr8ful, I’ve had a similar experience (both the negative and the positive you mentioned).
By the way, I found C.S. Lewis’ book “The Four Loves” to be a helpful exploration of the various God-ordained kinds of love, and an antidote to the meager and distorted teaching on love that I received in the LR. (I think the fruit of that teaching includes lots of lonely saints.)