My Thanksgiving

[Nell]

My friend Emily's daughter, Marianne, and her husband Wilson, were with us for Thanksgiving where we usually gathered…Diamond Back Ranch...somewhere in Texas (where else?). My friend Emily had recently gone to be with the Lord. Marianne and Wilson, of course, brought their 5 daughters.

To the girls, Emily was "Mimi" and Emily had lived with Wilson and Marianne for most of the girls lives. She helped raise them. I went on Wednesday night. As always, Diamond Back Ranch was beautiful.

The 5 girls are all adopted and are all sisters by birth with 3 different fathers. Marianne and Wilson adopted them as they, one by one, were taken by Child Services from their birth mother because of neglect. They were almost like "rescue children". So many problems: emotional, developmental and physical. Their birth mother is mentally ill and has absolutely no rights to them whatsoever...under penalty of law. I can only imagine what terrible shape she must be in.

The little one, Rosie, is 7. Even though I hardly knew her, she crawled into my lap Wednesday night with hugs and kisses, and told me "I love God. I love Jesus and I love you." Then she said "I don't want to go to heaven." Rita is Emily’s sister. She and her husband own the Diamond Back. Rita told me that Rosie had been telling them that she DID want to go to heaven and they were concerned.

Rita talked to Rosie and finally figured out that she just wanted to go to heaven to see "Mimi" then come back home. Rita explained to Rosie that if she went to heaven to see Mimi, she couldn't come back and live with Mom and Dad and her sisters. Rosie didn't want that. She just missed her Mimi and wanted to see her again.

Sisters Jeanie and Jerrie have some developmental and emotional problems, but they are musically gifted. Rita is teaching them both to play piano on Zoom lessons. They live outside of the beautiful little town...Calvert, Texas.

Kayla and Carrie seem to be pretty well adjusted. Marianne (Mom) takes them to weekly counseling and therapy sessions. All the girls have lots of doctor visits.

Wilson and Marianne...? Who are these people? Who does that? Who adopts 1 troubled child, much less 5 troubled children? One of the girls, as a baby, had been kept in a wheel chair for over a year because her birth mother thought she was too much trouble. She was confined long enough that she didn't learn to walk and couldn't stand upright for quite some time. After Marianne and Wilson adopted her, and after months of PT she's walking, standing and playing like a normal kid. They all have some slight speech issues, but are sweet and loving little girls...like Rosie.

There are actually 6 sisters. One is 19 by yet another father, and is living and working in Louisiana. Her name is Rebekah. Because of her age, she wasn't adopted by Wilson and Marianne. That could change, but for now Rebekah has a home with Marianne and Wilson, and her sisters, whenever she wants it. I met Rebekah at Mimi’s funeral.

There are so many broken people in this world. Then there are people like Wilson and Marianne who have hearts big enough to take these broken children and love them. Their hearts are big enough to teach them to love God. To love Jesus. And to love me.

Thank you Lord!
Nell

[SerenityLives]

Wow wonderful story. Thanks for sharing. I really commend people who are able to adopt. I used to work in the foster care system. There were three boys, all brothers. The biological mom used to be neglectful but I can tell she still loved them. I chaperoned their visits with their mom, and the mom would buy them anything they wanted. She was really poor and lived in a motel room. Pretty soon, a middle class family took all three boys in, along with their two biological daughters. I was so happy to hear the news that the brothers werent separated. The oldest one had some anxiety and couldnt eat at first due to adjustment to new environment. He took care of his younger brothers, esp the youngest (his kid loved to eat fruit, very rare for a boy his age- I would cut up all sorts of veggies and fruits for him). Luckily there was a therapist on site and he was able to adjust. When i lefty job, there were still two social service kids, one has been to fifteen group homes throughout his fourteen years of life. All they want is love. It was a good job experience.

Usually when I work with grieving children, especially ones who are younger, it’s commonplace to hear them want to go to heaven to visit their mommies, daddies, relatives who recently passed. They do not have a concept of how death works, Writing a goodbye letter with Rosie may be beneficial to help them adjust and grieve. Here is a template:https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/goodbye-letter.pdf
If she likes creative things, creating a memory box (full of family photos of her mom, transitional objects and items that remind her of good memories, gifts her mom gave her, and the good bye letter) is also a good way to say goodbye, and best of all, she can pull it out, add things to it from time to time, and look back on it when she is older. Some children write poems/songs too. all you need is a shoebox and decorative materials to costumize it (make it her mom’s favorite color, or put her mom’s favorite animals stickers etc etc. I hope these ideas help. I’m glad you’re there for her. I’m glad there are families that can provide so much love for children who often feel they are unwanted or abandoned.