A Sister's Testimony

[Unregistered]

I grew up in this church. It took tremendous courage to #walkaway @ 18. I have spent many hours to re-write my brain from the deleterious effects of this wicked cult.

As a woman, I was diminished and treated as a second class citizen. Taught that I was nothing, had no value, was separated from my sexual nature which I severely repressed. I was taught that I would have an arranged marriage some day. I was taught never to question the teachings, to be 100% obedient to all the adults in the church. The older women teach the younger women how to be afraid, how to hate themselves, how to be very afraid of people not in the church, how to hate their bodies, how to not turn into Eve, Jezebel and be more like Esther.

$250,000 of therapy later...I'm still working Mr. Lee's energetic teachings of severe separation out of my system. I believe people are taught to actually pray and curse against people in prayer meetings. Some dense and wicked energy moves through the vacant soul's, unfortunately, I don't think it is the love of Christ. IOver time people shut down their heart more and more and more and are easily controlled. You must have a low self esteem to begin with and it will degrade slowly over time.

There is no glorious church life as you will find just a group of people pretending to be loving and nice and under that they are all competing for who can be the most spiritual and who can be invited to eat at the elder's tables. I was only raised to one day be a breeder for the the Lord's recovery. That wast the only acceptable model presented to me.

[least]

Titus chapter 4
1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

God's word in the bible we have to amen.

What LSM leaders taught is for 'their' people to be obedient to them, doing their wills.
Shame.

[aron]

$250,000 of therapy later...I'm still working Mr. Lee's energetic teachings of severe separation out of my system. I believe people are taught to actually pray and curse against people in prayer meetings. Some dense and wicked energy moves through the vacant soul's, unfortunately, I don't think it is the love of Christ. Over time people shut down their heart more and more and more and are easily controlled. You must have a low self esteem to begin with and it will degrade slowly over time.I agree that we passively sat under curses and absorbed dark energy, sat there mutely while "Christianity" (everyone else) was called every dark name and subject to every dark insinuation. Because we took it, and didn't reject it, we came under the influence and control of darkness.

I was only raised to one day be a breeder for the the Lord's recovery. That wast the only acceptable model presented to me.If you read Watchman Nee and Witness Lee, the "sisters" were at the forefront of "recovery" for decades. But once power was assured, they were "sent back down where they belong." The two-facedness of group leadership is so glaring. Don't know why this isn't obvious to all, unless they're either brain-dead or too cowed to speak up. The disconnect in this group is astonishing.

(And yes, I had self-esteem and identity issues, wanted to "belong" somewhere and was love-bombed off the college campus.)

Following the conference in Foochow, we stayed with Watchman another two weeks to fellowship with him that the recovery of his ministry must be sped up. When the other coworkers and leading ones heard about this fellowship, they also would not leave, but asked us to obtain permission from Watchman that they might also participate in the fellowship. At first he would not give his permission, but on further entreaty, he agreed forthem to be present on the condition that they would sit a distance away from him in another section of his spacious living room. Only Peace Wang (Wang Peizhen), Rachel Lee (Li Lajie), and I sat together with him for fellowship. (From Steve Isitt's "Our Need to Examine Ourselves) The good news is some of the sisters are tired of the blatant hypocrisy and repression and have started to speak up. Have you seen the Jo Casteel FB page? It's gotten a lot of notice.

http://ourneedtoexamineourselves.com/HidingHistoryofNeeandLee.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1Hrh6O9pie-pjnMLM4_S5qUAvDIMga5cd0pFYS-hR6O4tPckmByZGwr-g