Anon-San
10-26-2023, 05:51 PM
Hello Everyone,
I was raised in the Local Churches as long as I can remember. My grandparents initially came from China and fled to Taiwan during the Chinese Conflict post-WW2. My parents were raised in the ministry and immigrated to the US in 1989. My family spent a lot of our precious weekends with the local church and the saints. My mom's a housewife who regularly reads the LSM books and attends Bible studies or readings with other housewives/companions. My dad is the breadwinner and served as an elder during my high school/college years.
To be honest, I never saw myself truly partaking scripture readings from the Bible and Witness Lee's legalism from when I was in grade school. I detested Bible Camps because it was scripture/lecture heavy, some beyond my comprehension at the time, and were gatekeeping fun activities, treats, and prizes until each child memorized a certain number of verses. I enjoyed dissecting a squid at a science summer camp more than all the children's Bible camps I have attended.
I didn't want to go through baptism in 6th grade, but I thought I had no choice due to peer pressure and "family tradition." It didn't help that my dad was the one leading the 6th grade baptism and one my secular peers there, gradually introduced into the LC by my parents on their own accord, was too excited to be baptized not fully comprehending of the lifelong commitments being in the ministry. It still sickens me today that my parents dragged my peers into joining our church while their parents lacked proper transparency of being baptized right after the 6th grade conference hours before the actual event. My parents tried doing the same lure with another peer when I was in high school, only to be prevented by his dad a week before his scheduled baptism.
Bible studies and reading The Holy Word for Morning Revival took up my mornings before going to school- it was tiring. Having to come up a portion to share with the ministry became an annoying chore to the point I stopped prophesizing in the meetings 95% of the time in high school. However, I was still brainwashed in high school because I had no one to look up to other than my parents' approval. My mom pushed all my potential friends away, thinking they will slowly corrupt me and ruin my purity. My first 2 years in college depended on the CoC and its Local Church next to my college. But when I started questioning more about the Local Church/LSM, I found how manipulative they have become over the years to make the ministry look good to potential members. My time in college made me realize that my upbringing in the ministry has pushed out many potential friendships and connections necessary for me to function outside of church. Enough was enough, so I stopped attending the Lord's Table Meetings. Other events followed suit after college which solidified my decision to never return to the ministry.
I am doing okay right now, though my relationship with my family is no longer the same. My husband has been very supportive and patient in understanding my trauma being raised as a church kid. I just wish my mom will stop telling me to pray or go back to the LC and convert my husband.
I was raised in the Local Churches as long as I can remember. My grandparents initially came from China and fled to Taiwan during the Chinese Conflict post-WW2. My parents were raised in the ministry and immigrated to the US in 1989. My family spent a lot of our precious weekends with the local church and the saints. My mom's a housewife who regularly reads the LSM books and attends Bible studies or readings with other housewives/companions. My dad is the breadwinner and served as an elder during my high school/college years.
To be honest, I never saw myself truly partaking scripture readings from the Bible and Witness Lee's legalism from when I was in grade school. I detested Bible Camps because it was scripture/lecture heavy, some beyond my comprehension at the time, and were gatekeeping fun activities, treats, and prizes until each child memorized a certain number of verses. I enjoyed dissecting a squid at a science summer camp more than all the children's Bible camps I have attended.
I didn't want to go through baptism in 6th grade, but I thought I had no choice due to peer pressure and "family tradition." It didn't help that my dad was the one leading the 6th grade baptism and one my secular peers there, gradually introduced into the LC by my parents on their own accord, was too excited to be baptized not fully comprehending of the lifelong commitments being in the ministry. It still sickens me today that my parents dragged my peers into joining our church while their parents lacked proper transparency of being baptized right after the 6th grade conference hours before the actual event. My parents tried doing the same lure with another peer when I was in high school, only to be prevented by his dad a week before his scheduled baptism.
Bible studies and reading The Holy Word for Morning Revival took up my mornings before going to school- it was tiring. Having to come up a portion to share with the ministry became an annoying chore to the point I stopped prophesizing in the meetings 95% of the time in high school. However, I was still brainwashed in high school because I had no one to look up to other than my parents' approval. My mom pushed all my potential friends away, thinking they will slowly corrupt me and ruin my purity. My first 2 years in college depended on the CoC and its Local Church next to my college. But when I started questioning more about the Local Church/LSM, I found how manipulative they have become over the years to make the ministry look good to potential members. My time in college made me realize that my upbringing in the ministry has pushed out many potential friendships and connections necessary for me to function outside of church. Enough was enough, so I stopped attending the Lord's Table Meetings. Other events followed suit after college which solidified my decision to never return to the ministry.
I am doing okay right now, though my relationship with my family is no longer the same. My husband has been very supportive and patient in understanding my trauma being raised as a church kid. I just wish my mom will stop telling me to pray or go back to the LC and convert my husband.